Why I Cringe When I Hear "Give Yourself Permission"

Growing Up Stubborn

I was that child.

The one with the imaginary battery on her shoulder, daring anyone to knock it off—just like Robert Conrad in the old Eveready commercial. I didn’t want to be told what I could or couldn’t do.

Even if I didn’t want to do it… I’d still do it just to prove you wrong.

That fierce independence stuck with me.

I didn’t follow trends, either. Not in clothes. Not in home décor. And certainly not in the pumpkin-everything craze each fall. (I love pumpkin, but I refuse to join the parade. Just ask my sister—she gets a kick out of me.)

So when I started hearing personal development advice like, “Give yourself permission,” I cringed.

Permission? From myself? That felt like nonsense!

If I want to do something, I just do it…

Unless I don’t.

And when I don’t, it’s not because I need permission.

It’s because something deeper is standing in my way.

What’s Really Holding You Back? 

Most of us think if we just decide to move forward, we will.

But that’s rarely the case.

When I feel stuck, it’s usually because fear is whispering in my ear. Not permission. Not laziness. Just fear.

When I hit that invisible wall, I’ve learned to pause and ask myself:

• What exactly am I afraid of?

• Is it fear of failure? Fear of judgment? Fear of change?

• Is this fear trying to protect me—or keep me stuck?

Facing those questions helps me move forward without waiting for some imaginary permission slip.

In fact, I’ve started giving my fears names. Personalities. I imagine them sitting across from me like snarky old frenemies—full of opinions, but not always helpful. 

Try This Instead: Face Your Fear, Reclaim Your Power

Here’s what I do instead of asking for permission:

1. Identify the Fear

Give it a name. Picture it. Listen to what it’s telling you.

What’s its message? And where did that message come from?

2. Talk Back

You don’t have to shout. But you can challenge it.

“I hear you. But I’ve done hard things before. I can do this, too.”

3. Take One Small Step

You don’t have to leap.

Just take one small action. Because momentum doesn’t need a running start. It just needs movement.

You’re Not Waiting for Permission—You’re Waiting for Courage

If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself: “What fear is trying to hold me still?”

And then ask: “What would happen if I took one step anyway?”

Because here’s what I discovered: Courage doesn’t knock. It shows up after you do.

You don’t need permission.

You need a plan.

Takeaway

Name your fear.
Give it a voice.
Give it a nickname if you want.

Then remind it gently, “Thanks for your concern, but I make the decisions now.”

You are more capable than fear wants you to believe.

You can do hard things. You’ve already done them before.

So don’t wait for permission. Take action.

Even one small step forward is still forward.

Need Help?

If fear is sitting heavy on your shoulder right now, I want you to know—you’re not alone. And you don’t have to untangle it all by yourself.

Schedule a free call with me, and let’s talk about what’s standing in your way. We’ll take that first step together.

👉 Book Your Free Call Here