Two Kinds of Change
Change can be good or change can be scary.
Planned change can bring optimism and excitement from anticipation. When obstacles pop up, we can convert our excitement to objections or even lose interest. Once we push through that wall of doubt then we can start to have hope that the anticipated change will be good for us. Hope turns into confidence which results in sharing our knowledge to help others.
However, unexpected change can bring shock or denial. The sudden disruption of the familiar can result in fear, anger or resistance. Once we let go of our resistance then we can start to accept and adapt to the unexpected change. Full acceptance helps to embrace the unexpected change and move forward.
How I Experienced Both Simultaneously in 2020
In December 2019 my cardiologist referred me to a heart clinic because my heart issues after my breast cancer chemo treatments were not improving.
In January 2020 the heart clinic told me I would most likely need a heart transplant soon. They put me on the heart transplant list and scheduled all of my pre-op tests as soon as possible.
I went through all of the educational meetings with my medical team to make sure I was prepared mentally and physically for the surgery.
Since this was a planned change, I was optimistic and excited to get a new heart and a better quality of life than what I was experiencing--in spite of the risks. A magazine had written an article about my heart doctors' 500th successful heart transplant. (Mine was number 502 and it was very successful as well.)
I entered the hospital on April 20th at the beginning of COVID and I expected to wait 4-6 weeks for a heart match. Miraculously, a match was found in six days and my heart transplant surgery was performed that night on April 26th.
My recovery progressed nicely and I was released from the hospital on May 8th, Mother's Day weekend. Three weeks total time in the hospital and I experienced no pain after the surgery. I did have to learn to stand on my own without using my arms due to the surgery.
One month later, on June 8th, my husband left me after 27 years of marriage for another woman . I was not expecting this to happen! I was in shock and felt betrayed and tossed aside.
The Secret I Discovered That Helped Me Adapt To Change
During my divorce process, I had a lot of time to reflect on my life. I went on an endless emotional roller coaster ride for almost six months.
I was thankful for my therapist, also our former marriage counselor, to point out how I overcame previous hardships in the past five years: breast cancer, losing my teenage son to suicide, and a recent heart transplant.
She reminded me how resilient I was and that I would find my strength and confidence again to overcome the end of my marriage.
My therapist was right. I am a survivor. I had to accept the end of the familiar and adapt to my new life with a new perspective. My new heart and new marital status would make me better, not bitter. I could now live a no-regrets life.
Will Change Make You Bitter or Better?
You have the same confidence inside of you. It's been inside you all this time. Have you made a list of challenges you overcame throughout your life? If you overcame past challenges then you will overcome future challenges.
It's all in your perspective how you respond to change.
In 2008, country singer Kenny Rogers released a song entitled "The Greatest".
It's about a little boy alone on a baseball field who calls himself the greatest player of them all. He throws the baseball up in the air, as it comes down he swings his bat and misses. Strike one.
The little boy picks up the baseball, smiles and says again that he's the greatest player of them all. He throws the baseball up in the air, as it comes down he swings his bat and misses. Strike two.
The little boy picks up the baseball, takes a deep breath, smiles and says again that he's the greatest player of them all. This play will decide the game.
He throws the baseball up in the air, as it comes down he swings his bat and misses. Strike three.
He hears his mother call him home for supper. As the little boy picks up his baseball and bat off the ground he says out loud that he's the greatest player of all but even he didn't know he could pitch like that.
It's all in your perspective.
Hunt the good stuff, find the humor, stay positive, and focus on your blessings. God can bring good out of every situation!