Simple Steps That Make Major Life Transitions Easier

Imagine your life in a snow globe resting peacefully on a shelf.
Everything inside looks familiar.
Calm.
Predictable.

Then one day, someone picks it up and shakes it with everything they’ve got.

Snow spins everywhere.
Your once-clear landscape becomes blurry.
You can’t see what’s coming next.
And even when the shaking stops, everything inside takes time to settle.

This is what Bruce Feiler, author of Life Is in the Transitions, calls a lifequake. It's a major life disruption that rattles your identity, your routines, your plans, and your sense of control.

Lifequakes aren’t small detours.
They shake the foundation of your entire world.

And yet, hidden inside them is an unforseen truth:

Life transitions aren’t the end of your story. They’re the doorway to your next chapter.

What Life Transitions Really Are (And Why They Feel So Hard)

A life transition is any major shift that forces you to rethink your life.
Feiler’s research shows adults on average experience three to five lifequakes in a lifetime, each having an average duration of four to five years.

That means nearly half your life is spent navigating change.

But here’s why life transitions feel so overwhelming:

• They disrupt your normal routines

• They affect your identity

• They force decisions you weren’t ready to make

• They stir up emotions you didn’t expect

• They challenge your sense of safety and predictability

No wonder it feels hard.
You’re not weak.
You’re human.

And you’re navigating one of the most emotionally demanding experiences a person can go through.

How Lifequakes Disrupt Your Routine and Identity

A lifequake isn’t just a “big change.”
It’s a deep emotional and psychological shift that affects everything:

• What you believe about your future

• What you think you’re capable of

• How you make decisions

• How you see yourself

• What you value

• Who you trust

When a marriage ends, a diagnosis hits, a job disappears, or a loved one dies, your internal compass can feel broken.

This is why lifequakes create:

• confusion

• sadness

• fear

• identity loss

• exhaustion

• overwhelm

Again, none of this means you're failing.

It means the snow in the globe hasn’t settled yet.

The Most Common Mistakes People Make During Transitions

Even the strongest, most capable people fall into these traps:

1. Waiting for life to return to “normal”

Normal is gone. A new normal is being built.

2. Assuming transitions are linear

Feiler’s research shows transitions are nonlinear. more like a pinball machine than a straight line.

3. Trying to “stay strong” alone

Life transitions require support, community, and connection.

4. Believing something is wrong with you for feeling stuck

You’re not stuck. You’re in the messy middle.

5. Skipping straight to the new beginning

Skipping grieving or shedding keeps people trapped.

Identifying these mistakes helps you avoid the emotional quicksand that keeps many people from moving forward.

Simple Steps to Make Life Transitions Easier

Now we shift from feeling overwhelmed to taking simple, doable steps that build everyday resilience.

These steps combine Feiler’s findings with my iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework.

1. Accept the Reality You’re In (Even If You Don’t Like It)

Acceptance isn’t approval.
Acceptance is clarity.

Try this simple sentence starter:

“The truth is…”
Then follow with:
“And the next small step I can take is…”

This reduces emotional resistance and increases resilience.

2. Mark What Ended

Transitions require rituals, big or small.

This might look like:

• writing a goodbye letter to what ended

• decluttering a drawer

• taking a walk with intention

• lighting a candle

Rituals help your brain process endings so you can move toward beginnings.

3. Shed What No Longer Fits

Life transitions always ask you to release something:

• an old identity

• a belief that kept you small

• a relationship dynamic

• guilt, shame, or outdated expectations

• habits that drain your emotional energy

Shedding creates space for the new beginning.

Ask yourself:

“What am I carrying that doesn’t belong in my next chapter?”

4. Create New Possibilities

Feiler found that people in the messy middle naturally turn to creativity:

• cooking

• painting

• dancing

• writing

• gardening

• decorating

• learning something new

Creativity rebuilds identity and increases emotional resilience.

Try 15 minutes this week.
Just 15.
See what wakes up inside you.

5. Share Your Story With Someone Who Is Safe

Transitions aren’t meant to be navigated alone.

Sharing your story:

• reduces shame

• increases clarity

• strengthens resilience

• improves emotional stability

• helps you feel less alone

You don’t need to tell everyone, just someone who listens without judgment.

How to Regain Confidence When Life Feels Uncertain

Confidence doesn’t return in one big leap.
It returns through brave, small steps:

• choosing one thing that’s in your control

• taking one small action each day

• using your superpowers (skills, strengths, talents) intentionally

• practicing the phrase “I CAN”

Every tiny step plants a seed of confidence.

Over time, these seeds grow into strength.

Where You Are in Your Life Transition (And What to Do Next)

Use Feiler’s three-phase model to locate yourself:

1. The Long Goodbye

You’re grieving, releasing, letting go.

2. The Messy Middle

You feel unsure, overwhelmed, or stuck.
You’re experimenting and trying to find your footing.

3. The New Beginning

You feel the spark again.
You see possibility.
You take confident steps forward.

Which one feels most true for you today?

This isn’t a test.
It’s a gentle self-check to help you see your next step.

Your Next Best Step (And Why You Don’t Have to Do This Alone)

You are not meant to navigate life transitions in isolation.

You deserve support.
You deserve clarity.
You deserve someone who sees your strength, even when your snow globe is still swirling.

If you want help moving forward with confidence…
If you want emotional relief, encouragement, and real steps that work…

Schedule a free 15-minute Clarity Call with me.

Together, we’ll help you steady your world, rebuild your confidence, and create the new beginning you deserve.

Adversity makes you bitter or better. Choose better. You've got this! 💪🦋