How to Simplify Decisions During Setbacks

After adversity, making a decision can feel like standing at a fork in the road during a storm.

The wind is howling. The signs are barely visible. And both paths ahead are covered in thick fog.

You want to move forward.
You want to choose “the right way.”
But you can’t see far enough ahead to be sure.
So you freeze.

You overthink.
You worry about getting it wrong.
You wait for someone else to tell you what to do.

If that’s where you are right now, you’re not stuck, you’re just overwhelmed.
And there’s a way through.

You Don't Need See the Whole Roadmap

When life feels uncertain, you don’t need to figure out the whole map.
You only need to find one solid step to move forward, something steady, right at your feet.

That’s how you simplify decisions after a setback:

• By slowing down the mental chaos

• Letting go of pressure to fix everything at once

• And choosing just one small step that’s yours to take

If you’re facing a big decision, about your future, your health, your relationships, it’s okay to not have it all figured out.

You’re not lost.
You’re learning to listen to yourself again.
And that’s the most important step of all.

The Real Problem Isn’t the Decision. It’s the Fear.

When you’re in a painful season of life, decision-making becomes exhausting. Not because you’re incapable, but because you’re afraid.

• Afraid of choosing wrong.

• Afraid of letting others down.

• Afraid you’ll make it worse.

And so you freeze.

You overthink. You ask everyone else what they would do. You delay.
And then you feel stuck, not just in your circumstance, but in your mind.

You’re not bad at making decisions.
You’re just overwhelmed.
And there’s a better way.

A Gentle Reset: Focus on What You CAN Control

Here’s where I invite you to take a breath and remember one of the core truths from my iCope2Hope Resilience Framework:

You don’t need to control everything. You only need to take action on what’s truly yours to carry.

This is where Radical Acceptance comes in.

Radical Acceptance isn’t about giving up.
It’s about letting go of the battle against reality, so you can begin to heal and act with clarity.

It starts by asking two simple questions:

• What is in my control right now?

• What is out of my control right now?

Grab a piece of paper. Draw a line down the center.
Label one side "In My Control" and the other "Out of My Control."

Here’s what that might look like for someone in the middle of a difficult season:

IN MY CONTROL

• How I respond

• Who I reach out to

• What I say yes or no to

• My next small step

• How I care for myself today

OUT OF MY CONTROL

• What others think or say

• Their choices or actions

• The past

• The timing

• What’s already happened

Even this simple act of listing things out can clear mental fog.
It creates breathing room.
It gives you back your power. It shows you where to spend your energy so you can move forward.

What Doesn’t Work: Pushing Through in Panic Mode

Most people try to “figure it all out” too quickly.
They make rushed decisions from a place of fear or pressure.
Or they put it off, hoping clarity will magically appear.

But clarity comes from slowing down, not speeding up.
From simplifying, not complicating.

Here’s what I discovered that doesn’t work:

• Making big decisions when your emotions are raw

• Trying to predict every possible outcome

• Seeking approval from everyone around you

• Shaming yourself for not being farther along

You don’t have to overhaul your life.
You just need to take one small step in the right direction.

The Step That Changes Everything

Once you’ve made your two-column list, look at the “In My Control” side.

Pick just one thing.

Not five. Not three. One.

• Maybe it’s texting a friend or making your bed.

• Maybe it’s saying no to something that’s draining you.

• Maybe it’s making a phone call to get helpful information.

• Maybe it’s scheduling that counseling appointment you’ve been putting off.

• Maybe it’s organizing papers for a task.

Whatever it is, do that one thing today.

Because action, even a tiny one, builds momentum.
And momentum builds hope.
And hope creates space for new decisions tomorrow.

A Real Life Reminder from My Own Foggy Road

When I faced a life-threatening illness, the decisions I had to make came fast and heavy. I had no roadmap. I was scared. Exhausted. Trying to grasp some kind of certainty in a world that no longer made sense.

But what helped me most wasn’t making a perfect plan.

It was learning to:

• Accept the reality I couldn’t change my diagnosis

• Ask for help, which was very hard at first

• Take one step, sometimes just one breath, at a time

That’s how I got through it.
And that’s how you can, too.

Put It In Action: Your Decision-Simplifying Toolkit

Here’s a quick exercise to bring clarity to your situation right now:

Step 1: List it Out
→ Make your “In My Control / Out of My Control” list, specific to your situation.

Step 2: Circle One
→ Choose one action from the “In My Control” column.

Step 3: Do It Today or Break It Down into Smaller Steps
→ Take one small step. Let it count. Celebrate the win!

Step 4: Speak This Truth Out Loud:
“I don’t have to know it all. I just have to choose what’s mine to carry today.”

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

You might feel like you’re in the fog.
But you’re not lost.
And you’re not alone.

As a Resilience Coach who’s walked through heartbreak, illness, and reinvention, I want you to know this:

You CAN simplify your decisions. You CAN trust yourself again. You CAN move forward—one step at a time.

When you’re ready, I’m here to help you map out your next small steps using my iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework.

👉 Schedule a free 15-min Clarity Call and let’s discuss your situation together.

Your story isn’t over.
It’s just getting started. One small step at a time.
And you don’t have to carry it all to begin.

You can do this!