Book a call

How to Shift Your Perspective to Conquer Fear of Rejection

choices growth mindset resilience


In a world that increasingly demands perfection, the fear of rejection can be paralyzing. From job applications to romantic pursuits, the possibility of being turned down can deter many from taking that crucial first step.

But what if we changed our perspective on rejection? What if, instead of a mark of failure, rejection was a necessary step toward resilience and personal growth? Jia Jiang's "Rejection Proof" dives deep into this concept, showcasing how embracing rejection can be incredibly empowering.


The Power of “No”

Jia Jiang's journey with rejection began with a personal challenge: to face rejection for 100 days straight. His encounters ranged from asking a security guard at his office if he could borrow $100, to requesting a "burger refill" at a fast-food restaurant since they offered drink refills.

The experiences were both humorous and insightful, often defying his expectations. He was caught off guard when Krispy Kreme said yes to his special request to link five donuts together like the Olympic rings. Not only did they honor his request, they colored the icing to match!

Key Concepts from "Rejection Proof"

  • Rejection is Often About the Rejector, Not the Rejected: Many times, the reasons behind a "no" have nothing to do with you. It could be based on the other person's mood, personal biases, or their own experiences.
  • Every "No" Gets You Closer to a "Yes": Each rejection provides an opportunity for feedback and refinement. By putting yourself out there repeatedly, you're increasing your chances of eventual success.
  • Rejection Builds Resilience: Like a muscle, our resilience grows stronger with each rejection, teaching us to bounce back faster and with more determination.


Shifting the Perspective on Rejection

One of the most profound insights from Jiang's experiment was realizing that rejection wasn't inherently a negative experience. When we detach personal worth from the outcome, we can analyze rejection objectively, learn from it, and continue forward with newfound knowledge and determination.

Ways to Shift Your Perspective

  • Desensitize Yourself: Just like Jiang's 100-day challenge, intentionally put yourself in situations where you might face rejection. Over time, the fear associated with the experience will diminish.
  • Seek Feedback: Instead of walking away from a rejection, probe deeper. Ask why. The feedback can be invaluable, helping you refine your approach for the next time.
  • Celebrate the Attempt: Regardless of the outcome, celebrate the fact that you took a risk. This reinforces a positive association with taking chances and helps build momentum.


Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Jiang's experiments were not just about seeking rejection but about pushing boundaries. By stepping out of his comfort zone consistently, he expanded what he believed was possible.

Benefits of Leaving Your Comfort Zone:

  • Personal Growth: Every time you venture outside your comfort zone, you learn more about yourself and your capabilities.
  • Increased Creativity: Exposure to new experiences and challenges can boost creativity, helping you think outside the box.
  • Enhanced Resilience: Facing and overcoming challenges head-on makes you more resilient, equipping you to handle future setbacks with grace.


Conquering Your Fears, One "No" at a Time

So, how do we start incorporating Jiang's insights into our daily lives? It's all about small, actionable steps.

Begin Your Own Rejection Challenge:

  • Start Small: Before jumping into significant risks, begin with smaller challenges to build your rejection muscle.
  • Journal Your Experiences: Write down each rejection experience, how it made you feel, and what you learned. This will help you track your progress and growth.
  • Share Your Journey: Talk about your experiences with friends or on social media. You'll be surprised at how many people can relate and offer support.



Rejection, though often feared, can be an invaluable tool for personal growth. Jia Jiang's "Rejection Proof" challenges us to change our perspective, viewing rejection not as a final verdict but as an opportunity.

By understanding that rejection is not always personal and that each "no" gets us closer to a "yes," we can harness the power of rejection to build resilience, drive, and success.

So, the next time fear holds you back, remember Jiang's journey. Take that leap. After all, every rejection is just another stepping stone on the path to your true potential.

Life is Full of Unexpected Twists and Turns

Navigating these challenges requires resilience and a positive mindset.

In the FREE Resource "20 Key Strategies to Strengthen Resilience & Embrace Change," you'll learn practical and achievable coping strategies and resilience skills to help you overcome difficulties with grace and strength.

These strategies are the ones I used to overcome bi-lateral breast cancer, losing my oldest son from suicide, a heart transplant, and a sudden divorce, all in a five-year period.

Get FREE Resource

Stay connected with news and updates!

Join my mailing list to receive the latest news and updates to strengthen your resilience to overcome challenges.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.